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Friday May 9,2008

Never got to say goodbye

by Helend

My boyfriend and I were together for 9 years. I have 3 children that thought of him like a father. My youngest was only 4 months old when we started seeing each other and he is now nine.

In July we went on our vacation. All of us had a good time. He bought a Quad which he loved to ride. we went all the time. The one day after work he asked me if I wanted to go for a ride I told him I was too tired. So he went when he got back he told me he rolled it; there was only a small brush burn on him. but his chest was sore. I told him to go get it checked but he wouldn't. That was a Tuesday night.

He called off work all week because he was sore. So then on Thursday he called me at work and said he was running a fever. I told him it wasn't normal that he better go to the doctor. I told him I would leave work and take him. He got very angry at me and said he loved me for caring but he is 35 years old and knows what he is doing.

So that Saturday night we were watching TV. He got up off the couch walked into the hallway and I heard a bang. I ran to see what happened and he was lying on the floor not breathing. I screamed for his father who lived downstairs. He came running up and started doing CPR on him while I called 911. The only thing I remember is following the ambulance with his mother to the hospital.

They took us in a room then the doctors came in and told us he was gone. He died from his heart that was bruised and enlarged. I started screaming, "No, I want to see him!" Finally they let us in the room to see him. He was still warm but his hands were cold. He said he would never leave me but he did. He died August 18, 2001 his birthday is September 1st; he would of been 36.

It has been 9 months now I'm going out and doing things for the kids but I think of him every day all the time. There is so much I would like to say to him but it is too late. I still talk to him everyday and still cry myself to sleep at times. I want to believe he is still around. I miss him so much. I'm going to end this now because I can't go on. We were suppose to be together forever. In a way I guess we are. I have a cigar box where I keep our last vacation movies,his death certificate and a few photos and all the cards my family and friend sent.

I lost my boyfriend of 9 years. He was 35.