After A Pet’s Death

October 27, 2008 – 2:40 pm
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Is The Internet A Valuable Tool?

October 14, 2008 – 9:53 am
Dear Kelly: Are people really turning to the internet for grief support? Dear Reader:  Many times I hear from Funeral Directors that they don't believe the families they serve are on the internet.  Did you know that: • New census data shows that approximately 143 million Americans - or 54% - were using the internet as of Sept 2001, an increase of 26 million over last year. • Approximately 40% of people age 55 or older use the internet, and each year that percentage increases as people who used the Internet when they were younger continue to do so well into retirement. • Older people report less usage in areas such as gaming or online trading, but are the most likely to search the net for health related issues. • About a third of Americans use the internet to search for products and information, with 39% of all internet users making purchases online. -One of the biggest strengths of the ...

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Different Approaches Can Work

October 8, 2008 – 2:34 pm
Dear Kelly: I am a female funeral director in the midst of male directors.  It has come to my attention in discussions with the men of the group that I conduct the arrangements with the families differently than they do.  I tend to focus on the people and what they need emotionally at the time.  It is not unheard of for me to spend three hours with a family before everything is done and settled.  My male counterparts tend to spend less time with families.  What comes up in discussions around the lunch table is how do we approach families about paying the bill.   The men sometimes think I am off my rocker because I tell them that by the end of the three hours the family isn’t concerned with the money and are willing to pay the price of the service they designed.  I have found that most ...

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The Importance Of You

September 30, 2008 – 11:10 am
Dear Kelly: My boyfriend just lost his best friend of almost 10 years suddenly to heat stroke within the last week.  He is beside himself with grief and I'm not sure how to deal with him.  He goes over to the family's house until four in the morning, drinks all the time now and he takes his anger out on me.  When he finally calms down from being angry, he apologizes and says that he's just going through a lot right now and says he knows I understand what he's going through.  The Memorial Service is today and I'm not sure how he will be acting after this, it scares me in all honesty.  Today, he will have to face the fact that his best friend is gone and not coming back.  I feel terrible that this is the first death that has hit close to home. We have talked about what ...

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Taking Care Of You

September 22, 2008 – 11:32 am
Dear Kelly, Every day I am taking care of my families and their needs.  Many times I get to the end of the day and realize I am exhausted and emotionally drained.  Is there something I can do that will minimize this problem? Dear Reader, This is a great question.  When you are exhausted at the end of the day, several things need to be considered.  You could be either lacking balance in your life or suffering from a medical condition.  It is always important to first consult your doctor to make sure there isn't an underlying medical problem that should be addressed.  If you're physically fit, then it is time to address the issue of finding balance in your life.  You could be giving all of your energy to your families and leaving none for yourself.  This in turn leaves you drained for your personal life and the next families you serve. ...

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Hidden Treasures

September 16, 2008 – 10:16 am
Dear Kelly, I am going to be organizing my deceased parents’ house in a few weeks to put it up for sale. I am not looking forward to this task because it is filled with reminders of their life. In addition, I know some people tend to hide family treasures, money or jewelry.  Are there particular things you have heard about from other grieving people that they missed when going through a dwelling? Dear Reader, Going through a home is like walking through a photo album.  Each room and item has the potential of holding a precious memory.  It is never an easy task.  Some people tend to be more packrats while others had lived with their home being more Spartan.  Some people are very generous with those that they allowed in their living space while others tend to be on the paranoid side.  When you are going through the house there might ...

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The Disconnect

September 8, 2008 – 2:53 pm
Dear Kelly, Beyond Indigo has 65,000 grieving people that visit its business on a given month.   Because of this, we have a unique perspective.  Beyond Indigo (www.beyondindigo.com) is a powerful mixing pot. We get to see what grieving families want and need.  In addition, we are able to observe the services that funeral homes, social workers, doctors and other care professionals provide to these individuals.  The two do not always seem like they are in accord.  Many times there is a huge disconnect between what is needed and what is provided.  This creates a lack of understanding by both groups of people. Recent studies in professional literature cite what helps people while they are grieving.  Research regarding what exactly will benefit a grieving person depending on the type of their loss, shows that the type of grief a person exhibits can be specific to a specific type of loss.  The results of ...

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Interactive Tools for Veterinary Websites: Part IV: Pet Loss & Grief

September 4, 2008 – 3:11 pm
The loss of a pet can be as life changing as the loss of a family member. Our furry friends have become an important part of our personal lives. Their unconditional love, listening ear and endless cuddles provide us with a unique relationship. Beyond Indigo has been helping families overcome their grief since 1997 through our online grief resources at www.beyondindigo.com. These grief tools were created to allow individuals to access grief help information and interactive tools when they are experiencing the loss of a pet. Below are three of our online Pet Loss & Grief Help Tools. Please feel free to try them out or to utilize them in your time of need. Light A Candle For centuries, in almost every religious and secular culture, lighting candles has been a symbol of hope and remembrance. Please light a virtual candle in memory of someone you lost, in hope for someone you know is ...

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What Grieving People Have To Say

September 2, 2008 – 1:25 pm
Dear Kelly, At Beyond Indigo (www.beyondindigo.com) we conducted an informal survey on our message boards to discover what people’s experiences were with their funeral service provider. We were specifically trying to get information on the concept of death perception. For many years, we at Beyond Indigo have known that there is a great divide between the people who are grieving and the people who are not grieving.  This divide is created by several factors which include the minimal socialization of death in our culture and the lack of individual thought regarding our own deaths.  Does this include funeral directors?  Do they think about their own deaths beyond what casket they want to be buried in?  Can grieving people tell whether or not a funeral director is comfortable with the concept of death – either their own or that of others? Was the funeral director “real” to the family or just going through ...

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Going Green with Geo-Thermal!

August 18, 2008 – 11:34 am
Here is a good idea to help “green” up your business. These ideas are not only are good for the earth but can save you serious pocket change as well. If you are willing to make an upfront investment there are ways to go “green” and save yourself some cash – especially over the long haul. Every business has to pay for heating and cooling. With the geopolitical situation in the world and energy prices your heating and cooling bills can bounce around like a yo-yo. One way to stabilize this cost is to convert to ether geo-thermal or an air-thermal cooling and heating system. Both of these systems use natural resources to heat and cool a building. Each system has its own strengths and weaknesses depending upon the geographical area of your business and the type of sand/stone/ground upon which your business is constructed. This summer I researched geothermal in anticipation ...

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