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Monday May 12,2008

Why my day? Why so soon?

by Whymydad

I am 41 years old. I have had 2 good healthy parents all my life, never really having to deal with a death. My father was diagnosed with acute myloid leukemia in March of 2005. Not a very nice disease. He was 79 years old, and still working with my brother in a landscaping family business.

As a family we became closer, and opted for a round of chemotherapy which only gave a remission rate of 30%, or the choice of dying within a few weeks. So my father opted for a 4 week stay in the hospital for this treatment. At the end of the treatment he came home; it was July 2005. We didn't know how much longer we would have him.

But he pulled through and it seemed to be a bad dream; he was home and doing normal things. Not like he used to, but in a way I thought he would just pull through. But we lost him in December 2005 and during this time, he was with hospice. We had a horrible experience with hospice.

I myself am still having such a hard time with this, I can't go to his grave. I can't get my self to counseling. I am falling in a big black hole. I would like to fime someone with a story similar to mine to talk with.

I am a female, 41 years old. I am looking for someone with a story similar to my family's story.