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Monday May 12,2008

Love does not end with death

by Linda

My sister-in-law, age 48, was involved in a roll-over auto accident about 3 months ago, (circa September 2005) which resulted in an irreversible neck fracture. She was paralyzed from the neck down, which compromised her abilitity to breathe. She chose to forego rehabilitation, knowing that she would not be able to breathe on her own indefinately, and went home to die.

After she had slipped into a deep, coma-like sleep, I whispered in her ear that I loved her, and that I would see her in my dreams. The moment she died, I felt that everything in my world had been sucked away, and that I would never feel good again.

Nothing was right after that, although friends tried to comfort my husband and I; we felt lost and had no idea what to do next. We decided that we would go to her favorite place: property in a remote area that she and her husband owned. We arrived at their cabin, and saw evidence of her life there, which at the time, made us feel sad and empty. Her husband had asked us to pack up her things and get them out of sight (he still can't bear to see her things, as they remind him of what he has lost.)

As I packed her things up to be moved, I was crying, remembering all the good times that we had there, and would never have again. All of a sudden, I was filled with the sense that she was there, she was okay, and not be sad. To say the feeling washed over me would be an understatement; it was more like it washed through me. Not only did I feel that she was alright, I KNEW it. I left with no feelings of grief, and felt that my broken heart was whole again.

After returning, I found out that someone else close to her had visited the property a few days later, and unknown to each other, we had experienced the same thing. I know that she was there that day, and while I still miss her terribly, I know that she is alright, and wants the same for me.

About 2 weeks after this event, I dreamed about her. She came to me, and I was so astonished to see her (in my dream I knew she had died), but still wanted contact with her. I asked her if I could hug her, and she agreed. That hug was more real and meaningful than any I had previously experience in life. As soon as I had hugged her, I awoke, and it WAS real. I could almost smell her! I KNOW she came to see me that night.

I still grieve and cry for the loss of her, but not because I wonder if she is alright, but because I miss her so much. I wonder why someone so good should have to go, when there are so many evil people still walking and breathing. I struggle with that every day, and will not know the answer until it is my turn to go to the Other Side. But I do know that she is okay, and wants me to be, too. LOVE DOES NOT END WITH DEATH!

I am 51 years old, and the death of my sister-in-law is not the first death that I have experienced or witnessed. All of the people that I have loved that died have come to me in my dreams, and all have talked to me and hugged me in my dreams.