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Monday May 12,2008

Cookie

by Brandy

I lost my beautiful, sweet, precious dog, Cookie, to kidney failure. She was almost 17 years old. All I can think about now is everything I did wrong or everything I didn't do, and now I can never, ever go back and change those things...

Like rushing her on a walk instead of giving her time to sniff around. Or rushing off to work in the morning without telling her good-bye. Or choosing to go shopping instead of staying home with her. Now I can never, ever stroke her soft, soft ears again, never brush her or scratch her back again, never give her another bath.

I'm so sorry I didn't spend more time with my precious Cookie before she left me, and now I can never again tell her how much I loved her. I want to die. I don't think I'll ever, ever, ever, ever, ever be happy again. I feel like somebody ripped my heart out, stomped on it a hundred thousand times, and then crammed it back in through my throat.

I knew she was old and sick and getting weaker, and I thought I was ready, I didn't know it would feel like this. I'm so sad that my baby died not knowing how loved she was.

I'm a 27-year old social worker, but my true passion is animalsl especially cats and dogs, but I love all animals. I'd be happy if I could go live in a land with all types of ahimals who would come up to my home and drink water from the fountain and cool off under my shade trees.