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Monday May 12,2008

A Sudden Loss.

by Michelle

3:00 p.m. Thursday, a friend came into class and told me my friend had been in an accident, he was hit by a car. 5:45 p.m. Thursday, I'm at home, watching the news, the accident is on. He's died.

I went to school the next day, most classes were cancelled. He was killed in such a gruesome accident. I can't believe it.

I sat with his greiving friends that day at school. It's now Sunday, it's been 3 days since his death. And still, I'm not feeling any better. At first I could not stop crying. Then, I had uncontrollable bursts. Now, I'm all cried out, but still, I don't feel any better.

I just cannot believe I'll never see him again. I've been over it all so many times in my head that it all seems fake. Like one huge nightmare that I'm never going to wake up from. This sort of thing is only supposed to happen on TV.

It was so sudden. I can't get over the shock that it was my friend. I feel sick. I can't eat. Every sort of food placed infront of my reminds me of something disgusting to do with his accident. I can't listen to music, especially his favourite bands.

I cannot possibly stress how strongly that I simply CANNOT BELIEVE that he's gone. I just can't BELIEVE I'm never going too him again. I just can't believe it. Can't believe it.

This is an entry I wrote in my journal, it's the only way I can attempt to get even a little but of what I'm feeling across:

Nothing feels right anymore.

Everything reminds me of you.

Everywhere I look I see a piece of who you were.

I remember our very first words.

I remember the dances we shared.

I loved you but I never actually told you.

I can't believe you're gone.

Our friendship gone.

You're gone.

I can't believe I'll never see you again.

Your smile, your jokes, your face, every conversation we had,

Are all so familiar to me.

Yet now so distant.

I feel sick, I can't sleep anymore.

I'm plagued with nightmares.

Everything you were I can remember so well.

I don't ever want to get over this sadess.

I don't want time to fade you.

Because that's all I've got left now, my memories.

And with every second they grow more distant.

Why did it have to be you?

My friend.

A part of me has died.

Nothing will ever be the same again.

I watched your friends cry.

I cried with them.

And I'll never truly stop.

Because I'll never truly believe.

And I'll never understand that I won't see you again.

I can barely see for tears.

I can remember exactly what was said when I first found out.

And now I sit and listen to my silent tears fall upon the paper.

It's been three days.

I look at your picture.

I've never cried for so long.

My eyes they are swollen.

Yesterday I watched the flags lower halfway.

I hugged your crying friends and tryed to be strong.

But my strength is gone,

Because I CAN'T believe.

We'll never dance again, we'll never laugh again, not together.

Time is nothing now.

And nothing is important anymore.

Rest in Peace.

We'll never forget you.

I'll never forget you.

My name is Michelle, I'm a student and am seventeen years old.