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Friday July 30,2010

How Long Does It Take to Get Back to Normal?

by Deb Sims, MS,RNCS,LCSW

Hello,

Thank you for your time.

Dear Reader,

Let me first acknowledge that I am so sorry to hear that you lost your wife.

Grieving is so individual, as you are finding out. But your question is a very important one. Do you remember back to the days when we wore black out of respect to the mourning process? People did that for approximately a year. They knew what we have forgotten; there is a minimum of a year before we start feeling like healing may be beginning.

Notice I said minimum. Each person is different. How long you were together makes a difference, as well as the quality of your relationship.

If, though, you are finding that you are still at the point where your appetite, sleep, mood, concentration, interest and motivation are not beginning to improve, you may wish to investigate seeing a grief counselor, joining a grief support group, talking to your family doctor or your pastor. That won't instantly take away the pain, but we don't want you to begin having physical problems that aren't being addressed. Also, it is helpful to talk to a professional or others who have gone through what you are going through, to know what is part of normal healing and what isn't. Generally, if your daily functioning is still being interfered with at the year point, it is time to talk with a professional. The normal grief process can turn into depression. Depression can be helped. You'll still grieve naturally but be able to function in the process.

Thank you so much for asking such an important and relevant question. There are some in-depth articles on the grief process in the article section that may provide additional benefit to you.

Blessings,

Deb

Debbie Sims is a Certified Clinical Nurse Specialist in Adult Psychiatric Nursing, has a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She maintains a private practice in counseling but her devotion is to her position as Editor for Beyond Indigo an Internet web site for those who are grieving.