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Friday September 10,2010

My boyfriend doesn't understand

Continued

Your boyfriend is male. When males encounter a problem, their natural tendency is to want to fix it. However, fixing it their way is not always what we as females need. There is a tremendous amount of literature out is insecure, you probably aren't going to change that and especially not now. But if he's just lost about how to help, direct him to the local bookstore for reading material; or you might direct him to this site to ask questions; or ask him to accompany you to a grief support group. If the relationship is important to you and you feel the two of you need more help, perhaps seeking counseling together may help. But, notice I've suggested options that he can do to help you, not options you can do to help him. If you present it like that to him, then he has something concrete he can do to try to fix things in the way you need. If he can do that, he may be a keeper, rather than someone who drains your energy. You'll know the answer to that as your journey continues.

I hope this will prove helpful to you. I know that this is a very painful time.

Deb

Debbie Sims is a Certified Clinical Nurse Specialist in Adult Psychiatric Nursing, has a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She maintains a private practice in counseling but her devotion is to her position as Editor for Beyond Indigo an Internet web site for those who are grieving.