|
|
Home Grief Support Losing A Child parentsLoss Of More Than One Child
by Jim Balthazor
Dear Friends, It is amazing how much we can learn from our family about the way death is handled. I come from a Catholic background and I have found that I think back to the times members of the family died and wonderwhat I was really feeling. The only funerals that I had been to in our family was my Grandparents. For my paternal grandparents it had been over 35 years ago.
When Kirk died I guess that I wasn't mentally prepared for the feelings and the loss that would quickly over come me. I tried to think about how my family would have felt especially my Grandmother. She had lost 2 children, but she had died back in the early 60's and never talked about the death of her children. I was young at the time, but I can remember my Grandfather crying at the mention of my Aunt's name, but my Grandmother was strong. I loved her with all my heart. I have such good memories of her, but I guess with the loss of Kirk I couldn't understand why she never talked about both of the children she lost.
Ruby was 3 years old, in the early 20's, when she died. Grandma and Grandpa lived on a farm outside of a small rural community. Grandma was apparently doing the laundry. During that time it was done over a gas stove using a copper tub and the water was very hot waiting for the clothes to be put in. Somehow little Aunt Ruby fell in and was burned very badly. Where the tub was at and how she fell in is not quite understood, but it happened. No one talked about it so it would be hard to understand. She lived for a few days in excruciating pain before she died. It almost drove my Grandfather crazy. As if that wasn'ttragic enough the loss of Ruby was only the first.
My Uncle Alfred was had just turned 20. He was a very handsome young man and I think to my Grandparents dismay chose to do something other than work on the farm. He had a very happy disposition and was a little mischievous! He moved to Chicago to live with my Grandmother's sister. He had an accident where he lost the tips of his fingers not long after he was there, he never told my Grandparents fearing they would make him come home. In 1930 he was playing basketball and had an appendix attack. Grandma and Grandpa, along with my Father who was about 4 at the time, went to Chicago to be with him. He died a couple of days later, on Valentine's Day. I don't ever remember anyone in the family speaking his name.
We have one small picture of him and I cherish it. All I know is they had to mortgage their
|
|
Home
Printer-friendly version
E-mail this article