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Friday July 30,2010

Communication - Part 2

by Linda J. Austin

Melting snow reveals dead leaves, displaced clumps of grass. It's a charcoal ketch day. I call this the season of waiting...waiting for robins to sing, waiting to put my hands in the coffee-ground earth to bury seeds, waiting for all the things that come when winter ends.

As the sun and snow make mud pies, the war uncovers memories of my brother, a helicopter pilot killed by friendly fire in Vietnam. My thoughts turn to the families who are awaiting the return of bodies and to families searching a war torn land for loved ones.

On the front page of our weekly newspaper is a story from a mother asking readers to write to her son. Letters from home are important. I wrote my brother (Butch) every day...one day in boot camp, he didn't get a letter. He called home to make sure I was okay. The next day he got two letters.

The day dad and an Army officer came to my office to tell me Butch was dead, there was a letter on my desk addressed to Butch.

Dad looked at me - pushed a football-shaped pink pill across my desk. "Take this. You know why we are here." Yes, I knew - and next week, I'll tell you where my information came from - Dad never said the words, "Butch is dead." He only said, "Get your coat, we're going home."

Last week I relayed the story of a retired Marine who had problems getting her doctor to answer questions. Americans for Better Care of the Dying has nine ways you can create change:

1. Call your local paper's obituary writer. Ask him or her to put into obituaries something about how a person lived during the last years or months. What did the family do?

2. Write a letter to your U.S. Representatives and Senators. Urge them to have government agencies, such as the Health Resources and Services Administration, the Health Care Financing Administration, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, and the Veterans Health Care System, sponsor demonstration programs in end-of-life care.

3. Mobilize local churches or civic and volunteer groups. Together, you can support those who are dying and their families through visits, transportation, meals, and prayer.

4. Talk to your doctors about advance care planning and pain control.

5. Push your local health care system-even if it's only one doctor's office-to get involved in quality improvement efforts.

6. Write to your favorite television or radio show. Ask them to include stories about-or even just to mention people who are facing serious illness and death, and how they and their loved ones manage.

7. Keep pace with what's going on in the field. Start on the web at www.abcd-caring.org, www.medicaring.org, www.growthhouse.org and www.Lastacts.org.

8. Read Handbook For Mortals: Guidance For People Facing Serious Illness. Read the on-line version at http://www.abcd-caring.org/educate/index.html

9. Don't quietly accept inept care, for yourself or your loved ones. Raise your voice. Insist on reliability. And when you find good care, publicize it!