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Friday July 30,2010

Twelve Coping Strategies for Difficult Times

by Kathleen Adams, LPC, RPT

I heard the news today, O boy... --John Lennon

As of September 11, 2001, we have been plunged into a crisis that no one can fully comprehend. Our paradigms have shifted, boundaries have vanished, and we are not prepared. In the words of the poet Adrienne Rich, "the maps they gave us/ were out of date by years." There are no "right" answers, no magic potions, no formulas or recipes. But here are some common-sense suggestions for managing these difficult times.

1. Accept your emotions. Whatever you are feeling, it is a normal and natural response. There are four basic feeling groups: Mad, sad, glad and scared. These basic groups provide the ingredients for many dozens of feelings. You might experience any number of different, and possibly conflicting, emotions, which may shift quickly and without warning. All of this, unfortunately, is to be expected and may continue for many weeks or months. It is crucially important to be able to tell the difference between feeling an emotion such as profound depression or white-hot rage and acting on an emotion, such as harming yourself or someone/something else.

2. Take a break from news coverage. The repetitive images and continual verbal analysis and speculation are imbedding themselves into our psyches, overstimulating our adrenal glands, and overloading our mental and psychological capacities to process. Give yourself a break from the news, or at least be selective in your intake.

3. Find your tribe. Community is vitally important at a time like this. Humans are tribal people. Find your tribe, whether that is family, friends, church, school or classes, workplace, support group, volunteer activities, e-mail listservs, neighborhood, one good friend. Have at least one source of support that reliably gives you contact with caring, accepting human beings.

4. Tell your story. We need to talk about this, to discharge the tension, to move it out of our bodies, to witness and be witnessed.

5. Relentless self-care is mandatory. It is not possible for all of us to take time out from our own individual lives. We must continue going to school, going to work, feeding our children, driving carpool, and living our lives against a ghastly backdrop of grief, fear and uncertainty. It is essential that we practice relentless self-care. Get enough sleep; if you can't sleep, at least try to rest peacefully. Eat in a way that feeds and fuels your body. Get some exercise. Do whatever comforts and sustains you: Hot baths, hikes, time with friends, time alone, hobbies, movies, weekends away. Some people (extraverts) get their batteries recharged by being with other people. Others (introverts) recharge their batteries by being alone. Know what fuels you, and do that relentlessly.

6. Take care of your body. Move tension and accumulated feelings and toxins out of your body. Sweating, elimination and bodywork are three good ways. Exercise, saunas or steam rooms, massage, yoga, eating simple foods simply prepared, drinking lots of water, and breathing will help.